how to understand and deal with loneliness

Connecting with others is an important part of being human. Healthy relationships support us, give us a sense of belonging and can improve our mental health and wellbeing. 

It can be hard to develop relationships though, and if we’re feeling lonely it can make this seem even more challenging. We might feel awkward, shy, or doubt ourselves and our ability to make friends. But none of us are born with social skills, we learn them along the way. Building skills isn’t always easy, but with practise and patience, we can get better at it.  

Putting ourselves out there can feel scary, but if we want things to change, we need to support ourselves and take action. When we face the things that challenge us, we start to build skills and gain confidence in our ability to cope.  

Being brave increases our chances of finding meaningful connections. Often the first step is the hardest part, but if we don’t try, then we might never know what’s out there.  

Friendships can take time and effort to grow. You could reach out to someone you have something in common with, invite them out and base the activity around whatever you have in common. Or if that’s too big a step, you could just talk to them first, discussing the thing/s you like that overlap and see where that takes you.

If distance is an issue, you might want to get creative and connect online/via phone. 

Joining a group can help you meet new people that have the same interests as you. Think about what you like doing or what you’ve enjoyed in the past, or try something new, and see if there’s a group you can join. Meet Up has a number of groups both online and in-person; Facebook has online communities that you might be interested in; or you can create your own. 

headspace Peer-led chats hosts weekly discussions for young people by young people. You can join the headspace online community to chat with peers about a variety of topics, or view the transcripts. Log in or create a headspace website account to see what chats are coming up or happening now. 

Volunteering can help us meet new people and do something that can give us a sense of purpose. Volunteering Australia is a national body that helps match your skills and wants with a volunteering opportunity near you.   

As well as working to connect with others, it’s important to look after yourself. Our tips for a healthy headspace can help when we’re having a hard time. These are things like practising self-care, building skills for tough times, getting enough sleep, eating well, cutting back on alcohol and other drugs, and staying active.